On Marriage...

I've become deeply saddened lately by our cultural definition of marriage. I'm not talking about same-sex marriage or anything like that. That's a discussion for another day, for another person. I'm saddened by the finality of marriage in our culture. By our culture's standard (as seen in movies, books, media in general), marriage is the end for a man (or in some cases a woman). The man no longer gets to be the tiger on the prowl or insert "manly" picture here... Instead he is stuck with one woman for the rest of his life and one bed for the rest of his life. The sadness in this is that culture views this as a negative thing. It is almost admission of defeat for a man to be monogamous. So this view of marriage spurs men to get bored. It encourages them that perhaps something on the side isn't wrong. It tells them that they are a victim. And if this is culture's view of marriage, and if I'm indeed right, which I believe I am... then I want nothing to do with marriage.

For me, I want nothing to do with finality. I think part of that is my competitiveness. I want to pursue and not catch because it makes me want to pursue harder. I want to love and then learn that I need to love more. I want my "marriage" day to be a declaration of my pursuit, not a declaration of my defeat. I want my wife to feel at age 80 that I'm pursuing her harder than I did at age 30 or 40 or whatever age I make my ultimate declaration of pursuit. And I want my wife to run. I want her to know that she's wanted but that she doesn't have to settle for the best I can give her today. I want her to echo the woman in the Song of Solomon when she says, "I am my beloved's and his desire is toward me" (7:10).